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Religious Jokes
Sorry, this page got deleted by accident. Act of God, me thinks...
We'll just have to rebuild it.

On The First Day
On the first day, God created the dog and said:   
    "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."   
    The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?
So God agreed.   
    On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."   
    The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"   
    And God agreed.
    On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.
    For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."   
    The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"   
    And God agreed again.    
    On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."    
    But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."    
    So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

 

The Pastor's Ass

A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read:


PASTOR'S  ASS  OUT  FRONT.


The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor
 not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read:   

BISHOP  SCRATCHES  PASTOR'S  ASS.


This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the Pastor to get
 
rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby Convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:


NUN  HAS  BEST  ASS  IN  TOWN.


The Bishop fainted!

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the papers read:


NUN  SELLS  ASS  FOR  $10.


This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:


NUN  ANNOUNCES  HER  ASS  IS  WILD  AND  FREE.


The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is ... 
Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery.. It can even shorten your life...

...So be yourself and enjoy life to the fullest.

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!


Have a nice day!
 And remember... Sharing is caring!